You’ll often hear us talk about ego or suggest to a guest they are “coming from ego.” You'll also hear us suggest to guests they explore "self love." Here's more about what this means and how they're related to each other:

By definition, ego is “an inflated feeling of pride or superiority to others.” However the ego plays a far more dominating role than simply boasting about material possessions or name-dropping. On The Male Room, ego represents the consciousness that experiences the outside world and reacts to it. In most cases it's people's "normal" consciousness. What’s often misunderstood is that this consciousness has been conditioned from early in life and developed automated responses to people and experiences. It is not our true consciousness. When operating from ego, many of our decisions and actions are in effort to feel comfort, avoid looking bad, or make you look good or feel powerful.

The ego is clever and will attempt to fool you that it is very important. Symptoms of ego include:

• Controlling
• Exaggerated stories – addicted to drama
• Always wanting – never satisfied with having
• Material Identification
• Role (job, partnership, religious) identification

Ego is also the part of us that corrupts the possibility of loving relationships because it has to be right. Ironically it’s also the ego that persuades you to stay in dead-end relationships for fear of not finding another partner.

On the other hand self love is something you were born with, conditioned away from, and now may be searching for or trying to remember. Self love is the opposite of ego because when you have a knowing that you are perfect and whole, you no longer need to identify with roles you play, jobs you have, or the amount of money in your bank account. Self love manifests as self-concept in relationships as you choose only partnerships that are synergistic. Self love is a universal freedom and it’s the single most important step towards a strong relationship with another whole and complete human being. An author by the name Oriah, beautifully states it this way. "I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments." When you do like the company, that's a reflection of self love.

When you hear us talk about ego, it’s when we recognize somebody is out of alignment, probably acting from fear or discomfort. We’ll attempt to demonstrate that fear can be shifted to love, worry and anxiety can be released, and ego transformed to self love.